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my friend annie’s dog got swaggg. be jealous.
totoinhats:
Toto in a cowboy hat
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I want this cute little munchkin. :(
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emotionally exhausted.
there are nights like these when I can’t fall asleep or just refuse to sleep alone in my bed and rather choose the floor in my parents’ bedroom as my “napping place.” I never knew that not speaking to one of the most important people in your life is so emotionally draining. it makes me constantly wonder about what I did wrong and where I went off track. I really don’t remember when this started happening and when we lost the ability to keep in touch. when people ask me about you, I pretend nothing ever changed between us and things were prefect, happy, bubbly, and amazing like they were a year ago. this has secretly put me through an emotional rollercoaster. the worst kind out there. funny enough, it’s kind of like my experience on real rollercoasters, where I pretend that i enjoy them like everyone else and hold in my fears and screams. I secretly hold back my fears, my hurt, and my feelings in general. because of you, five years ago, I gave into my fear of trusting that best friends do exist, but you are the same person who is tearing that belief away from me. each day I continue to fear that I am losing another friend for no apparent reason. I hate going to sleep cause I’m afraid that the next day I wake up, another friend of mine will forget my existence or love me less than they did the day before even though I didn’t do anything wrong. I die a little each day wondering how you’re holding up, what you’re feeling, and whether or not I still exist in your life. I don’t know if this emotional rollercoaster and secret flow of tears are worth it, but as lame as it sounds, “I guess time will tell.”
I believe that we had a great friendship, a strong bond. she’s the bestest friend I ever had in my life and I will love her forever, no matter what.
I want everything to be the way it was a year ago. I would give anything for it. I swear.
CHDCBFF? i hope at least…well it always will be in my heart. 3
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
obsessed. my current song on replay. :)
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LOLs. I draw myself stickers at work when I’m bored.
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enjoying a bike ride at battery park :)
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don’t think you’re that important
so today i encountered a girl who tried to be all nice and told me to move my bike out of the way of the doorway of a store when my friend was going in to his own family’s store to get something. my bike wasn’t even in the way of the door. IT WAS NEXT TO IT! plus there were no customers coming through at the time anyways. she said “excuse me sweetie, CAN YOU MOVE YOUR BIKE AWAY FROM THE DOOR?“ bitch, who do you think you are? don’t call me sweetie when you’re my age and you don’t know me. don’t act like you own the store or work there when i know for a fact that you don’t! if the owner wasn’t there i would of told her off and been like “WHAT BITCH? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING TO?” okay, done with my rant, but seriously, just cause you’re one of the “usual customers” doesn’t mean that you own the store. get your head straight & girl, i would of took my bike in the store if YOUR & YOUR FRIEND’S BIKE wasn’t in the goddamn way INSIDE! gosh!
overall i had an awesome bike ride with my bestest friends. if only if the (lack of a better word) bitch, didn’t ruin my day. grrrrrr.
sorry i usually don’t get angry easily, so please excuse me. she really ticked me off.
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Let it be; i guess…
I’m so torn, okay that’s not even the best word to describe it. I feel a distance growing between us by the day, hour, minute, and second. I know things can never stay the same as much as we hope and wish for it to do so. I am aware that I can’t expect a person to stay the same for 5+ years or however many we’ve known each other for. But I personally try my best to accept each person for who he/she is and what they will become of. It just takes time and I can swear on my own life that my love for a person will always be there once that bond is formed. You may doubt me on that and I know you don’t believe the above can be kept true and pure. I do though.
What you have done or should I say not do or indirectly do (okay that sounds awkward, but I suck with words, so be it) has put me on my last thread. I’m not mad, just upset, disappointed, and heartbroken (for a lack of a better term). I hate that I had to hear things from other people. It makes me look like a total fool, or in another case I worthless and inconsiderate friend. Tonight my heart just sunk deep into a bottomless pit. I don’t really know how to dig it out. The feeling is making me so nauseous that I want to stick my finger down my throat and just regurgitate everything. On other nights when I got really upset, I would numb myself with alcohol, sob, and basically go through the whole “girl depression phase” where I cry myself to sleep. The next day I try to tell myself, it’s okay, “everything will be better.”
I feel stupid for telling myself that, but I still believe things will be better even though seeing from what things are now, it’s hard. For now, I really give up on hoping it will all be better. At the end of the day, no matter what happens, I will always love you. That will not ever change, but my lack of hope for now can only be fixed with the phrase “let it be.”
*This passage is NOT referring to my significant other, so please do not get the wrong idea and start flipping out.*
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procrastination at it’s best during final’s week. this is dedicated to my bestest friend, diana. :)
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this almost seems impossible. for some reason, i don’t believe it.
(Source: imgfavepopular)